Monday, December 27, 2010


Sudden overwhelming feeling and collapse
Like another Sunday crossword covered nap
The swirling hue in the cupboards
Beckoning me onward
Still I can't quite seem to fathom what I've grasped

It's just a trick of the light
I'm told
There's nothing there that wasn't where it was;
Or where I left it
Just another thing that comes with getting old

Sepia painted twilights in repose
Unanswered letters spoken is softened prose
The world keeps dimmer
Despite the brilliant glimmer
That hung upon the garden where she rose.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Dark and 20'd

Sure he hears her heading up the stairs
But there's nothing really left to say
Might as well go ahead and stay

Floorboards creak as she makes her way
Through a bedroom darkly she creeps
All alone, she wants to scream
So it seems
She might as well just go to sleep

On the back roads of the world
We always seem to make our homes
Trying hard to keep ourselves apart
Turns out
It's just another way to break your heart

Tuesday, November 09, 2010


So maybe today I sing out of tune
But one day I'm going to hit every note
One day I'll never run out of air
My lungs will never give out
Soon I'll sing and shout
And feel a hundred years in my throat
A blast out in the heavenly choir
Putting all the angels to shame
So maybe today I can't write the music
I hear when I'm alone
One day my heart will shed this body
And I'll travel the speed of light
My song will rise from deep within
And be written into the night
And I will finally become
The song I've always wanted to write

Tuesday, September 28, 2010


I'm falling in love
With a girl I don't know
Haven't seen her
Haven't heard her
But I know she's there
She's just out of reach
A whispered verse
For a shadow...

Light lines brightly
The dim night finding her out
Time tries
But I can't help thinking about
The girl in her shadow

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

That One

Nothing makes sense
Nothing's made sense
Since I was nine years old and slitting my wrists
Nothing makes sense
Nothing's Made sense
Since I was seventeen and wished the world would end.

It's just the game of life my friend
Could we go back and start all over again?

No wait...

Please hang up and try your party again
The disconnect is bringing back the end
Or so you say
So long, the end.

Nothing makes sense
Nothing's made sense
Since I was twenty-two and swallowing pills
Nothing makes sense
Nothing's made sense
Since I was twenty reaffirming my vows

Is the struggle worth the pain?
Is there nothing left to say?

No wait...

Please hang up and try your party again
Dial the number but it's all in vain
You're gone away
Until the end...

Thursday, September 16, 2010


I hear you can't go home again
If you had one to begin...
Another start of another end
Living on the rend

They say the storms on Venus
Are not something to be missed
The lightning shines the brightest in
The darkest grasp of space

And so I sing a soft goodbye
To familiar satellites
That hung around my neck so long
The view eclipsed my sight

Said, you're right
And there's nothing like
Into the face of a storm
And not coming home

Wednesday, September 08, 2010


When I look into her eyes
It rains

Sometimes I just don't want to be
Sometimes I see
Something out of nothing

Never before have the stars
Been quite so bitter to me
Never has the moon
Shone so hatefully

Soft and gentle piano
Where ever I go
As if every player on earth
Seems to know

When I look into her eyes
I wonder where she is

Beautiful and gentle
Is this night
Soft as silk
Floating on the air

When I look into her eyes
I know there's nothing there
Only rain

Wednesday, September 01, 2010


Everyone that I fall for reminds me of you
That's why I stopped falling in love
It's just not worth it if you're not falling too

Same eyes but a different look
Same lips but a different kiss
Same fingers but a different touch

And there's a pretty girl sitting across the room
Mouthing words I could have written
Should have written
Words I just can't say
To your mirror

Friday, August 06, 2010


Little sister
My little Sister
Big little sister
I can still see you
In the back of the room

We used to play such childish games
Race after rainbows, through the falling rain
The inside jokes have started to fade
Like dust settling over words on a page
We wrote, we sang, we laughed
But time just moved too fast

Little sister
My little sister
Big little sister
Time just slips away
Till only thoughts remain

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Lives Before

Sometimes I still feel it should be possible.

15 years old and completely lost to a summer that quickly flew by. My time had revolved around Lake Ontario that year. I loved to swim. Loved to crash around through the waves; feel the water flow through me. I swam there with my nephews when they visited, and when they left, I swam alone. But as much as I loved swimming, it was the fall I waited for.

There's a little dock that juts out from a quiet inlet. It's in a whispery town with large farms and fewer people. The dock is formed of pressed gravel and concrete. It should have been ugly -was ugly. But that's what made it so beautiful. Man made peninsula that was completely alien to the surroundings.

I liked to sit there and watch the lake. The rhythmic flow of the waves nimbly dancing across the shore line or crashing against the rocks when the wind picked up. My head's always been a mess but sitting there I seemed able to blank out my thoughts and just be still. It's been a long time since I've had that luxury.

Out a short distance from my gravel perch, in the shallows, was a grouping of concrete blocks. They had dumped large slabs of concrete all along the edge, most likely to prevent people from going to far out. It seemed likely that a few blocks had just got away. It was random but in my mind I built order from the chaos. To me the blocks formed the shape of a giant.

I came to refer to my favorite spot as 'the stone giant's bed.' I even wrote a poem about the giant that lay in the water, waves lapping over him; moss growing on the sides. It was a Christian allegory. That's just the kind of kid I was. I was raised a Christian by my mom but from a young age I had begun reading the bible on my own. More so I believed it without being told.

Years later my experiences with various churches and different ministers who obviously didn't read the book their faith was based on, would contribute to my backsliding. It was only temporary though as I never stopped believing in God. My continued existence seemed founded in a miracle. Eventually I was able to move past my problems with individuals.

Still, sitting on a pier at that time, I knew nothing of those issues. I knew I loved the bite of the autumn air, mingled with the misting of the spray. The flecks of white churning in the dark swell. The water was cold, you could tell without touch, but there was something pure about it.

One cold and overcast day, I happened to be on the dock as a storm moved in. At first the rain was light. As the clouds rolled over the lake, pushed by heavy winds, the rain began to beat down. It was ice cold and each drop felt like a needle against my face. Yet I stood there watching. Looking out at the waves bowling along. Little blue hills on a lake, gathered up and flung violently against the shore.

I could feel the power from above and below. The air was electric and alive. I felt raw and tempestuous. As I stared out into the lake it seemed like I should be able to dive into the water; my atoms diffusing with waves, changing me till I myself became a wave, flowing in and flowing out.

I knew of course this wasn't possible.

I left a few minutes later completely soaked to the bone. Somehow I managed to avoid coming down with a cold. I went on as usual, completely unchanged by the experience. There were no profound revelations that I can share with you. Well, other than that it's nice to have somewhere warm to change out of wet clothes.

Some things, like thoughts of transformations are better left to the realm of fantasy. Still, every now and then, when I happen to pass a lake and catch the sunlight reflecting just right off the tips of the waves; sometimes, just sometimes, it still seems like I should be able.

Thursday, July 01, 2010


I don't wonder anymore
'Where's my flying car?'
I'd be content just to hit the open road

I don't need another lesson
In the things I can't attain
I've reached the age of settling for 'ok'

Still I tell myself
I'll find myself
To the mirror every morning
What's a little lie caught between friends?
I couldn't take much more
Aching for
The things I can't achieve
Looking in my eyes I can truly see
With a friend like this who needs an enemy?

Sunday, May 30, 2010


Somewhere out there
Someone's whispering to me
Turn up the volume

Cause I see right now
How in silence I've found
My on call room

Is there a frequency...
Something I've been missing?

Cause somewhere tonight
The radio buzzes to life
With a heartache

And I flip the switch
Turn the dial away
For my own heart's sake

Is there something, that I've missed?
If I change can I find...

A frequency of happiness


Hair like glass
Blown by the sunlight
Embers and ashen
In her eyes
Each of her movements
Graceful and fluid
Like the edge of a curb
Under fast falling rain
Her soul is exquisite
An inspired piece
Kind and sincere
With just the spark of a queen
She's everything I should want
Everything I could dream
But she just isn't you
So she's just not for me

Wednesday, May 19, 2010


Even though the scars are many
I feel like I've seen the light
Feel like I've found a threshold
That's held up against tonight

The stone that built my shelter
Harbors many safe within
Against the raging of the surface
And the axle's deadly spin

He's held on though I've fought him
Trying to let myself drown
But he somehow always brings me around

Lifts me up and puts me on solid ground

Wednesday, May 12, 2010


Nobody Stops to ask the boy
Why he quietly acts like an idiot
Is it self esteem or plagiarism,
Or the back end of a ruler
That struck him hard to his inches?

Feeing is for cowards
And no one even thinks to guard themselves
We're a world wide floating emoticon
Perched on the tailslide of last week's news

Don't yell it...
Turn your caps off
If you can hold on
Hold on
Hold to it and think
The future isn't always that

Seems like I heard your voice
In the rustling of pages
It's all I can do now to sit here
And think about what was; what wasn't,
And what damn well never will be.

Friday, April 23, 2010


A simple little dance
We shared once before
But that was
That was in the way back machine

I'm rarely sleeping
These days when I dream 
I know I'm just
Just a thought away from you

I can almost feel those old songs
We listened to in the pouring sun
I don't want to fight it anymore
You always kept me grounded;
Tethered, down to earth
Now my head's forever in the clouds
Lost in you

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Peter and the Wolf

Peter stands before the curtain
Sees her from the corner of his mind
He's so polite
He's always so shy

The curtains lifting, there behind them
The wolf struggles, pulling at his binds
The wolf survives
The wolf cannot die

He can't find the words to tell her how he feels
The wolf wants out.

Strips of paper, pencils, plaster,
Red ink penning words he's tried to rhyme
He's so polite
Always so kind

Piles lining paper baskets whispering
'Pete, the wolf's inside
He still survives
The wolf cannot die'

He can't find the words to tell her how he feels
Thinks he'll die alone

Susan watches silently
Fighting feelings she tries so hard to hide
She's so polite
She's always so shy

And as the curtains falls away from behind her
The wolf wants out.

Friday, April 16, 2010


See the light shine brightly
From the corner of her eye
There is something still running there
Something she's held on to
Even as hope seems to fade

Footsteps shuffle around
Making notes she'll never see
Telling tales 
That have nothing to do 
With a life lived

She smiles wide and states convincingly

I'll soon be found burning bright
My fire screaming through the night
You'll sing my name as I pass by
My light eclipsing
Shadows that fell over me

And I have no doubt now

Sunday, April 04, 2010

The Score

There is music hidden within the night
Chords struck
As the moon whistles its light along the tree tops
The swaying of branches
Echoing beats
That are buried deep inside the wood
Ripples across the pond
Sing vibrato
Crashing into cat tails
That stand tall
Playing their strings to a crowded house
I feel the anxious fluttering
In the piccolos flapping their wings;
Hear the thundering bass
In the longing of their hearts
I see the music played to a score
Written across the stars
For all to follow along
And I lay back
In the grass content just to be
A note in the night.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Wave 5

I see it all so clearly now
The lines painted and left to dry
A fistful of quarters for my youth
A 1000 ways to watch the world die

I was the one always swore I knew
Time was not something to mess around
I should have died when I was 3
But I somehow never hit the ground

Now I'm standing here
All cowardice and collapse

We sit and drive the TV set
Of late nights with Stephen Fry
Where Are They Now: Angels of mine
You know I never said goodbye

Oh now,
I feel lost and out of reach
The sky is falling down
All over the world
The weather vane's hopeless
Couldn't find anything to last
The world keeps moving
And I'm spinning
Way too fast

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Letting Go

My world slips away
A thousand miles from yesterday
What I've got left to give
I've sown in fields of haze

Whispers lie to me
Shadows slowly gathering
If I could just grab hold
Of my last big dream

And the night it crawls by
As the stars suffocate brightly
With their life

But I'll tell you tonight
If not in person, in a note,
With laughter in my ears,
That hope's been killing me
And now I'm letting go
Letting go

In Perpetuity

Don't worry 'bout the words that you're saying
Saying, I promise not to tell

I'm feeling ageless tonight

We feel the same
In one word alone
In three, you and I

I don't have to be anything
You can stay the same

Flesh, blood, and everything in between

We can be together
You and I
We can be so alone

Till we're all alone again.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Token Valentine's Day

A million voices laughing loud
And I'm alone again tonight
Don't talk of fishes in the seas
Don't whisper words of Valentines

And it's 38 steps
From my front door
Completely sober
Making my bed
On the floor
Falling over

Don't tell me that it's the kind of night
For staying under the covers
When I know it's not the time
For recovering lovers

It's not the time for us
I guess it never was

Saturday, February 06, 2010


I walk, you walk too
Side by side but not together

Is it wrong to remember,
To want to be something more than now?
Is it wrong that I still feel our youth,
And wish I was walking with you?

I see, you see too
But it's with different points of view

Is it wrong to feel this,
To want to go back the heartache?
Is it wrong not to turn away?
Cause I see you these days,


She sees
She feels the pain
And when her daughter tries to ask her
She says, 'it's hard to explain.'
Cause she feels,
With out.

Late night
Tap dance
Old movies, with romance

Scanning the channels for a sign

She says, 'if I can just find the right program;
There's a piece of myself I want back.'

But there's nothing on

She sings;
Closes her eyes
And when the sun starts raining down on her
It's been a short night
She's with out
And she knows now

She says, 'if I can just find the right man;
There's a piece of myself I want back, from him.'

But there's nothing on
Nothing good is ever on.